Movie Reviews

Archive for 2010

Good luck!
BEGINNER

EXPERT

Standings:
J.D. – 17
Fletch – 14
Nick – 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously – 5
Dreamrot (smacdonn) – 4
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel, JLG – 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79 – 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dave, Big Mike Mendez, Nic Cage, CaptainRon19, TJMAC510 – 1
Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

It’s that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It’s The Day New Movies Are Released.
I don’t know whether it’s been due more to just bad timing (or good?) or a show of restraint on our part, but the trips to the theaters to see the doldrums that are January and February film choices have been largely avoided thus far (I spoke of my weakness last time out). That streak was almost killed earlier tonight when said timing issues and a lack of patience almost had us in the theater for the largely panned Valentine’s Day, but a sold-out showing saved us. So it was off to the arthouse theater to catch a later showing of The Young Victoria (I would have preferred to see the newly opened The White Ribbon, but we didn’t feel like waiting an additional half hour for it). Still, the chances of us hitting one of the P.O.S.’s already in theaters, or one of the below, seems to grow by the day.
This is what happens when we get desperate after nearly a month without a theatrical visit.
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Somewhat surprisingly at this point, with reviews out on all of the three wide releases this week, this appears to be the best option. The parallels to Harry Potter (for the book series and the film) are so blatant that it’s bizarre a copyright suit wasn’t filed, and the irony of getting Sorcerer’s Stone director Chris Columbus on board to direct Percy is just the icing on the cake. Still, in 2010, Greek mythology is all the rage again (I guess), and I can’t say that it looks all that terrible. Certainly can’t be anywhere near as bad as effing Eragon.
Fletch’s Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 29%
The Wolfman
Regardless of how bad this apparently is, you’d be hard-pressed to argue that Emily Blunt hasn’t had a hell of a year (and change). First, Sunshine Cleaning (officially released in 2008, but no one saw it until last spring, for all intents), in which she took much of the praise away from star Amy Adams. Then, the aforementioned Young Victoria, which earned her a Golden Globe nomination, amongst other awards. Finally, she gets to co-star with three diverse, ultra-talented gentleman, in the form of Benicio del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, and Hugo Weaving.
How they managed to turn that cast – to say nothing of the chance to kickstart a franchise – into a film with a 30% freshness rating at Rotten Tomatoes is beyond me.
(Though now I must see it, if only to gauge its terribleness for myself. I wish that weren’t the case, but it is.)
Fletch’s Chance of Viewing: 70%
Valentine’s Day
Of course, that 30% rating probably seems like heaven for director Garry Marshall’s latest clunker – it’s currently sitting at 15%. I couldn’t be more thrilled we had to skip out on this.
Maybe I shouldn’t talk, since I’ve seen exactly none of his films (at least not in total – I’ve seen enough of The Other Sister to regard it as an embarrassing comedy classic), but this guy ought to have a worse reputation in Hollywood than Michael Bay. Outside of the must-be-great Pretty Woman (I’ll continue along just fine “missing out” on it), what the hell is keeping this man employed? Happy Days and Mork & Mindy ended nearly 30 years ago – it’s time to cut the cord.
Fletch’s Chance of Viewing: 6%

“Fletch, what gives? I thought this was a movie blog? What’s with all the TV crap?”
I hear you, and I assure you, despite the LOST recaps and the return of the Survivor live blog (by my count, the 7th straight season of this – can you believe it?), this is still a movie blog…with the occasional foray into TV. So, if you like it, I’m thrilled; if you don’t, please don’t let it scare you off. There’s plenty of movie chatter – I’ve not replaced anything, merely added all this other stuff. Anyway, on to the show.
7:00: Speaking of seven seasons, is it just me or does the time in between the seasons seem to be shrinking. Perhaps it’s just because I’ve more or less added a “responsibility” to the watching of the show, but it’s been barely a month and a half since the last season ended. Somebody, please do some research and find out for me how much shorter the break has gotten over the years.
7:03: I’m sure I’ve said this at some point in the past, and I understand that the producers have a pool of only so many people to choose form (and even fewer interesting ones), but there should never be anyone playing this game for a third time, at least not until we’re to season 50 or something (coming next year, by the way). I love James as much as the next viewer, but there’s not some other potential “all-star” that could have been tapped for his spot (or Colby’s, or Jeri’s, or…)?
7:06: Is this Survivor or Rambo? Six minutes of helicopters…enough.
7:07: “How does it feel to be deemed one of the ten most notorious of all time?,” says Jeff. He forgot to add “that we could get.”
7:08: The whole “heroes vs. villains” idea is a great one in theory, but less than ten minutes in and I’m already sick of it. All this does is give the so-called villains even bigger heads than they might already have. And it’s not as though the “heroes” were virginal on their way to their golden status; everyone that’s made it anywhere in this game has lied (outwitted) their way into that station. I guess it’s not so much the setup of the game that I dislike so much as the moniker; only bad, annoying things can come from this.
7:12: Danielle the Villain – who is that exactly?
7:14: Candice the Hero(ine) – who is that exactly? Those are the two members of this 20-strong cast that I just had no idea how they got cast. I have scant recognition of either. Sugar seems wildly out of place, too – she’s memorable due to her name and looks, but I can’t think of why she deserves to be out there.
7:18: Dislocated shoulder for Stephanie on the first point of the first challenge. Ouch – though seeing that pisses me off for personal reasons more than disturbs me over the violence (which is overkill, by the way). Ask me sometime about my retarded dislocated right ring finger some time – let’s just say I wish I had the Survivor medical team on had at the time.
7:25: Okay, I gotta hand it to Sugar – that was a badass, highlight reel move.
7:26: Yes! The chance to see Tyson get his ass kicked by James/Rupert. Speaking of highlights, I could watch that over and over and over again. I’m not yet concerned with who I want to win; the bigger internal debate is who would I rather see leave the game first – Tyson or Randy? Both are wastes of space and offer little in terms of entertainment value.
7:27: Who else was hoping that Rupert would pull a Ronnie Lott and tell the medical team to cut off his toe? Just me? Ok then.
Survivor news at Survivor.com
Survivor homepage at CBS.com

…has begun.
See here for the details and the link to the contest itself. As usual, for this contest, you need not be a member of the LAMB – it is open to everyone!
There will be prizes, including but certainly not limited to a bloggy t-shirt and a $25 AMC gift card; contest host Mikey Filmmaker (of Spaghetti Sauce and Sweet Peas) will be adding some more in as well, and will be providing future details over at the LAMB, so check back for updates.
Good luck!

So here we are at week 2 of Lost, and after their season premiere and highest ratings ever, what do they go to hook all their viewers…? A Kate episode?!?! Noone ever likes Kate episodes, but maybe they at least had a decent subplot to save it… not even close, with a subplot about Samuri and John Lennon trying to poison Sayid. Classic Lostiness right there, but never fear chums they always mix in a bunch of stinkers, it just means we’re that much closer to an episode that doesn’t actually suck. They’ve been resting up Desmondo for practically a full season, it might be time to get that fella back in the mix; he was on Flight 815 in their bizarre alternate reality, and the only reason he’d be there is if he has memories of the original timeline. Is it too much to ask for him to start mixing things up, causing trouble for the passengers and speaking of what was, is, and never should have been. Maybe build up to some finale where Desmondo through killing a bunch of people and righting some wrongs makes the two timelines merge, and then there is two of everyone in some bizarre combined world. Also, they picked a poor week to give Richie Alpert some rest, I for one was looking forward to some war of demigods with him and Jacob’s nemesis clamoring for allies in a civil war to settle once and for all who rules the Island. And when was Alpert in chains? Was he in fact a slave on the Black Rock, as some Lost nerds have been postulizing for seasons on end?
As for this episode, “What Kate Does”, it was the typical Lost throwaway episode, with Kate doing what she always does, running around annoying everyone. In the alternate reality Kate kidnaps Claire, escapes from some cops, then makes friends with Claire, and then they make plans to live happily ever after together raising Aaron. Also in yet another colossal alternate reality gaffe, they had Claire come up with the name Aaron, when originally she only named her kid Aaron because Boone had just died, and she wanted to honor him (and like every other rational person she despised the douchebags of Red Sox nation), and since it was 2004 she went with Aaron since Aaron Boone was currently the hero of Anti-Sawx nation. Also in Bizarro L.A., there was a cameo by Ethan Rom, but since Jack blew up the island, Rom grew up on the mainland as Goodspeed, a retarded appearance that just gave the writers a chance to show that yes, if we hadn’t figured it out by now, things would be different in an alternate reality.
On the island the episode seemed to have some promise thanks to the triumphant return of Aldo, played by popular character actor Rob McElhenney, Mac from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”. Last time we saw Aldo he was falling for the old “Wookie” trick and getting knocked out. Aldo looked like he was calling the shots for their little hunting posse too, until Kate got mad and knocked him out again. Sadly there is no hope of him rejoining with Samuri and John Lennon next episode, as he got shot by a possibly evil Claire. Also since the Others have a John Lennon, why not go all the way and give three other guys Beatle haircuts and just have them hanging around, maybe have their George rocking a moustache and breaking out an axe from Hurley’s guitarcase to start playing “Here Comes the Sun”. On the other side of the Island, Sawyer threatened to shoot everyone, giving me hope for my dream of him going vigilante and wreaking some havoc, but it turned out he just wanted to go get an engagement ring from his old house, then he and Kate cried together or something, I dunno I lost interest there pretty fast. And, as previously mentioned there was a masterminded plot to poison Sayid that Jack managed to thwart, judging from the ashes they poured on him, they must think he’s some vessel for the smoke monster or something, at least that whole weird sequence ended Fletcher’s bizarre theory of Sayid having secretly been Jacob in disguise the whole time, better leave the predictions to us professionals Irwin.
I don’t remember seeing any previews for next week’s episode but I sure would like to see a heaping dose of Mister Hume, wouldn’t mind some Alpert also, and I’d love to see them get the inevitable Jin/Sun reunion out of the way, looks like they’re trying to build up to a replay of the Desmond/Penny reunion, only with Jin/Sun no one cares. I guess we’ll probably find out what Claire has been up to, it would be sweet if Jacob’s nemesis could occupy numerous bodies and she’s chilling with “Christian Shepherd”, while “John Locke” is torturing Alpert, and in his third possessed body, Sayid turns evil and ices Samurai, then jams out with the Others’ Beatles cover band.

Last Week: JSR pwned you all (again), getting 8 correct. Alex was the only other person to get any, with 1. 3 left unanswered.
I’m going to give you the initials of a number of characters from a movie. It won’t always be the same number of characters, and the initials won’t always stand for a proper name. You name the movie. Simple enough? I thought so.
The Movies
1. JK, S, LM, MS, HS, NU, PC
2. NA, DB, SS, FB
3. JT, RV, RD, PS, WMH, EH
4. MR, RM, LG
5. AP, VK, DE, BE, SE, NT
6. DZ, H, M, MJ, K, MB
7. PG, MB, SN, MW, BL
8. JB, OR, MC, RN, LG, MR
9. ML, MB, JM
10. TM, EH, MR, FL
11. MB, CB, GB, MB, JB, PB, CB, BB
12. BW, SK, OC, MS
Good luck!
Standings:
Jack’s Smirking Revenge – 2
Arjun – 1
Correct answers so far:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.

Now, the fourth in a continuing series in which I count down my favorites from a particular year in film. Previous entries:
1997 * 1991 * 1984
I’m going to use my friend Wikipedia to kickstart my brain, year by year, and I’ll throw out a Favored Five here and there. If you want to refresh your memory in a similar fashion, just go to Wiki and type “[four-character year] in film.” Here’s the one for 1988. I won’t pretend that Wiki is the end-all, be-all of filmic knowledge or that these yearly lists are 100% accurate, but they’re an excellent place to start and a great resource.
1988
Not a lot of surprises here – the films selected as my Favored Five are likely what you’d expect from someone who was 11/12 years of age in 1988. Ditto the movies I’ve not yet seen. The only thing that might surprise you is the inclusion of Frantic amongst my honorable mentions, over such higher acclaimed fare as Rain Man and A Fish Called Wanda, or even Scrooged. It’s not to say that I don’t enjoy those films, but I thought to myself how odd it would be to place such films high amongst my rankings, considered I’ve seen none more than a handful of times, whereas the ones that made the lists are films I can practically recite (in some cases).
Notable movies not yet seen:
The Accused
Akira
Dangerous Liasons
Eight Men Out
The Last Temptation of Christ
Midnight Run
Mississippi Burning
Honorable Mentions
Beetlejuice
Frantic
The Naked Gun
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Willow
5. Big – You know I love the next four a lot when a great film such as this comes in fifth. There’s not much wrong with Big; I gave it a re-watching recently, and aside from some unavoidable aging (cars, toys used, general technology) and the dodgy “So, was Liz Perkins a pedophile?” question, it’s just as meaningful and funny now as it was then.
4. Bull Durham – Unquestionably one of the greatest sports films of all time and I won’t hear anything otherwise. Ron Shelton (White Men Can’t Jump, Blue Chips, Tin Cup) remains the only writer I’m aware of that can write sports movies that feel authentic and fresh at the same time, and the fact that he spares us the “inspirational” endings of so many others only endears me to him more (even if he hasn’t made a relevant film since 1996).
3. Bloodsport – If you’ve been coming here for any time at all, or are a friend of mine of Facebook, or in real life – basically, if you know me at all, then you know I ♥ this movie with all my ♥. So why is it numero très and not numero uno? Well, love of trash does have its limits, and as hilarious and (I’m sad to say) important to me as this guilty pleasure is, it’s still a guilty pleasure, and the next two movies are far, far superior in quality while still holding a special place in my ♥.
2. Coming to America – Take your 48 Hrs. and your Beverly Hills Cop(s) and maybe even Trading Places – I’ll take Coming to America as my choice for Eddie Murphy’s best, if not funniest, movie. Not-really-cameos from Sam Jackson, Cuba Gooding, Jr., Louis Anderson and Vondie Curtis-Hall, Eriq LaSalle’s jheri curls, Arsenio Hall getting most of the great lines, Sexual Chocolate, Darth Vader himself as a King, Murphy and Hall playing no less than five characters each, the Royal Penis – what more do you want?
1. Die Hard – There really can be no other option here. A no bullsh*t action movie that keeps the tension and comedy high and the stupidity low (Karl coming back to life is the only thing that really stands out). Movies with Heroes (shorthand for action flicks, fantasies, adventures, etc.) are only as good as their villains, and Alan Rickman gave us one of the most memorable in Bill Clay aka Hans Gruber. The inevitable sequels have inevitably taken off some of the luster from the franchise (go ahead, re-watch the second – it’s pretty awful, to say nothing of the abominable fourth), but it served as the template for action movies for at least 15 years beyond its arrival. Kudos to Jim Rome for maintaining some of its cultural relevance.