Movie Reviews

Morning all, so I know everyone has been eagerly anticipating my take on this latest episode which “solved” so many of the questions about the two godlike fellas we’ve seen running things over the last few seasons. My thoughts are it was a pretty terrible episode, and of course that we knew this was coming. I told you guys at the beginning of the season that there was not going to be any acceptable solution to the hundreds of bizarre and senseless mysteries they’ve spun together, and now that it’s time to start wrapping some up they’re doing what I foresaw all along. Hey how did Jacob and Man in Black (or “MiB” as the Lost nerds call him) get their powers? Magic. How did Mib get turned into black smoke? Ummm Magic? How did that wheel that sends people through time and space get made? Magic!! The only thing I learned last night were that Jake and Mib weren’t Gods, but rather humans given Godlike powers for some unknown and uncared about reason. Whatever, they could have told us that in 5 minutes instead of wasting a whole episode on it; now I’ve forgotten everything that was happening with Jack, Kate, and the gang again after 2 weeks away.
Listen, you aren’t going to get any life changing answers from Lost… obviously. Once they started traveling through time and doing even more bizarre stuff it became pretty obvious the solution to all their “mysteries” was going to be magic, but they could at least continue the strong character driven storylines that made people like the show in the first place. The final season was destined to be a disappointment no matter what, they made all these promises about solving all the mysteries in a genius way that would change television forever, but not even the most gullible Lost fan had any delusions of that happening. Yet, they somehow made it even worse by trying too hard with pointless alternate universes, even more confusing mysteries late in the game, and wasted characters. They should have just stuck with their tried and true formula of everyone running around the island doing their usual antics and trying to get off, hell just give me good old Desmondo running around without a shirt on, doing his Desmondo things, and I’m a pig in the mud… Here are some more additional thoughts:
-The Richard Alpert episode was kind of similar to this one, they spent a whole episode on Alp’s backstory, yet somehow the Alpert one was good and this one was boring, I think it was because Alpert was a character we already liked, it still had a couple of Island cut-ins with future Alpo interacting with Hurley, and of course the fact that Nestor Carbonell is a great actor…
-Which leads me to my next point, I get that they had to hire a kid who was an absolutely painfully bad actor to play young Jacob, since the adult Jacob can’t act either. But the adult Mib is an even worse actor than Jacob, and that young Zac Efron was actually a pretty good actor, it really confused me. Also, I’m obligated to mention, the babies that played Mib and Jacob in the I really did believe they were babies, which is more than adult Mib or Jake have ever done for me…
-I was hoping after their mother named the first kid “Jacob”, and the second one popped out she’d say “Call him Mib” or some kind of joke nod to all the retarded names the Lost nerds have come up with for old smokey, instead they just never said what his name was, ohhh it’s so mysterious…
-Here’s how I imagine the conclusion to the episode was written up at their writer table…
Cuse – “and then Jacob finds his brothers body and carries it back to the camp, then quietly buries his and his mother’s bodies and he’s all alone on the Island”
Lindelof – “hmmm, you know as long as we’ve got TWO bodies lying around…”
Cuse – “Great thinking, we’ll toss them in the caves, and cross another mystery off the big board! That should get those Lost nerds off our backs!”
Lost Nerds (upon viewing) – “Of course!!! It was Mib and his mother all along, I should have known!!! Those producers are geniuses!!!!!”